the fifth column submission: who am i

I am sunken lungs

despite the way my laughter races time

and wins

surprised at it’s own blithe essence

as it considers it’s melancholy wrapped in tar

from evenings and corners and benches of lonely smoke,

the bittersweet refugee of this body.

 

I am always rising,

filling rooms and hearts at width

and leaving

only an apparition of validation

with the same rendition of full words

making friends feel whole

making lovers out of friends

taking their accolades under my tongue and

spitting them out instantaneously

as this reel of life chooses me

and proposes a tasteless audience.

 

I am sculpted feet, smooth, unsure, unseen

in black leather and bursts of blue flames

treading heavy, falling over my knees

bruising, bleeding, still singing

rebel songs whispered to me in dreams

by those that loved me all knowingly

passing their blood and metaphysics to me in

screams of sweet conception, strife and stories.

 

I am here

shackled to this lifetime by brutish force of colonization

an alienation of flesh and worry

always wondering how much more I can do to compensate

for the way people look at me

 

I am here

there are words I must reveal

that I am still trying to remember

there is sun that kisses my face

and well, there’s something beautiful about knowing

that it loved my ancestors like this too

 

So this is me.

I find solace in knowing that the stars endowed me with some sort of consciousness.

And this is me, still trying to fill this hole in my chest with ink.

 

I am here.

I have to remember how I got here.

I have to race time

or it will never know

how much it’s done for me.

And I want it to know.

I want it to know that I exist.

 

 

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Published by

neptunesighs

moon skulled

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